so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
