FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
