i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
