Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
