that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
