You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
