The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
