You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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