after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
