We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
