I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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