OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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