And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
