bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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