I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
