i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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