You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize