Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
