Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
