Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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