do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i will never coherently bang her
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Boobs speak an international language.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
