I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
