Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
