Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you never un-have a 4some
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
