there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
