i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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