the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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