your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
