The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
