pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
