Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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