dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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