How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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