I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Your cock deserves a montage
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
