dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
