one two three fourrrrnication!
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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