you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize