Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
