Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
