Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
