make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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