I got her a Nickelback box set.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
