dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize