i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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