I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
