you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
did i walk over a car last night?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Shame - the story of my life.
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