How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
