Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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