how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
