and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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