Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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