Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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