True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
