the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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