Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
