so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
