i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
