Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
