She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
