it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
