No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize