respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
