in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
