Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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