OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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