Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
